


Trying Again for Love

by GrandDukeForever



Series: Smoke and Mirrors [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Implied Relationships, Implied Slash, Implied/Referenced Incest, Incest, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandDukeForever/pseuds/GrandDukeForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Yancy's side.</b>  For the Pacific Rim kink meme prompt, which reads: "Raleigh was the one to die that day, but Yancy couldn’t live with it and made a deal for it to happen the other way around. <strike>(ust or unrequired or or soulmates or brotp idc)</strike>"</p><p>Original prompt can be found here: http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/350.html?thread=1314398#t1314398</p><p>For some reason, as I was writing, this turned into a bit of a Thor (movie) crossover with implied Thor/Loki, but the implications and references to that pairing are <em>very</em> subtle, so if you're only interested in reading a fic that's centered around them, then this is honestly probably not going to be the story for you.  (Also, Dark!Loki warning.)</p><p>Prominently features Becketcest.  If this is your cup of tea, I hope that you enjoy!  Part of a two-part mini-series.  Sorry in advance if anyone seems out of character; please note that that's not what this author intended!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deal with a Devil

**Author's Note:**

> Before I begin, I really would like to thank a huge amount of supporters. Whether you've left a comment or kudoed, I really appreciate all the little nudges of encouragement, that keeps me writing. Specifically, I would like to take this time to thank those who have consistently kudoed most of, if not all, of my fictions that I have written and posted onto this site to date. That being said, I don't necessarily value certain readers more than others; it's more like I really would like to let these people know who leave kudos constantly how much I appreciate their support, since they haven't left a comment I could respond to expressing the same. So here goes.
> 
> Thank you first of all to who I consider my professional lurkers, A Bittersweet Liar and Zoi no miko. I'm pretty sure I've spoken to both of you at least once, at some point, when you've left a comment on one of my stories. I recognize your names right away because you've both left kudos on so many of my stories, and I thank you both so much for your support! Thanks also to sugatasc, who has not only left comments and kudos, they have also translated a couple of my works in Chinese on a Chinese fanfic-sharing forum! So awesome!
> 
> I would also like to thank my regular commenters, among them claire, Ishyko, SublimeDiscordance, Hardyness, and bluebluebonnet. You guys aren't always able to leave comments due to your busy schedules, but you all have at some point left at least one, and you've taken the time to at least leave some kudos on multiple stories. Seriously, thank you guys—you all really keep me going!
> 
> Finally, I would like to thank my other repeat kudoers. It totally makes my day when I see you guys like more than one of my fics, even if you don't like them all. Thank you to annabelle_edmund, constantinflux, EtherealMemory, KristaV, ohtorikyoya, okdreaming, orangemetaphor, Pyromancer, Sonora, TheFisherKitty, and yourhuckleberry!
> 
> Again, if you do not see your name mentioned here, it's not because I don't appreciate your support; it's that I really wanted to take some time and let the people know who are consistent supporters that I _do_ notice when they visit, again and again.
> 
> By the way, thanks also to the numerous anonymous guests that either don't have accounts or are like how I am sometimes, and are just too lazy to log in and just kudo instead.
> 
> Now, if I haven't killed you all with this pretty lengthy author's note...without further ado...my latest story! I hope you enjoy! Please leave a comment if you can! I love to be able to interact with my readers and get to know you all! Don't be shy now! :D

Prior to the Kaiju War, Yancy didn’t believe in things like superstitions or witch doctors.  After his brother’s death though, Yancy’s view on all that completely changed—he’d do anything for a second chance.

“They tell me you’re the guy to see.”

The man Yancy was addressing was a notorious figure in the underworld, Hannibal Chau.  He dealt in everything from harvested Kaiju organs to secret remedies that could only be found in the black market.  Yancy had heard his name in passing when the marshal mentioned it to Dr. Newton Geiszler, and it was the man’s supposed dealings in the latter that had the Jaeger pilot most interested.

Chau was sitting on a throne-like chair, holding a golden cane in one hand and a cigar in the other.  He blew out a puff of smoke and seemed to be scrutinizing Yancy, although it was kind of hard to tell where the other man was really looking behind his opaque shades, which covered his deformity.

After a moment, the man finally spoke.  “It depends on what you’re looking for.”

Yancy’s jaw clenched.  “The talisman.   _Il Rovescio di Fortuna_.”

His tone was bold, making the statement come out more like a demand.  Yancy didn’t care though—he wasn’t afraid.  In his mind, he had nothing left to lose.  

Chau seemed to sense that, and his lips curled into a pleased smile.  He got up from his seat and motioned for Yancy to follow.

“Come with me.  I’ll show you what you seek.”

It was nothing more than a stone, really, blood-red in color and hanging from a chain, like a necklace.  Yancy stared at the object on display with skepticism.  He gave Hannibal Chau a sidelong glance.

“You’re telling me _this_ is the famed fate changer?” Yancy asked.  “It just looks like a painted stone.”

“You mean a _tainted_ stone,” Chau corrected him.  “With the blood of Loki.”

“The Norse god?” Yancy asked, raising an eyebrow.  “He’s nothing more than a centuries-old myth.”

“The greatest magician who ever lived,” Chau said with the dismissing wave of a hand.  “And if you didn’t believe that at least some part of the stories were true, you wouldn’t have risked everything to seek this out.”

Yancy snorted softly.  “By definition, the word ‘risk’ means I am concerned as to the resulting hazard any actions I take may have on my life, or at the very least assumes I have at least something to lose.  I assure you, neither is the case here.”

“So you chase after something on a whim that you’re not even sure about?” asked Chau.

The blonde gave him a slight shrug.  “I’m impulsive.”

“So I see…” Chau said, somewhat contemplatively.  “Then tell me, what exactly were you hoping to gain from this visit?  Surely not to waste my time.”

“Not at all,” said Yancy.  “I know you’re a businessman.  I’m here to talk business.”

“Hmph...so far this is sounding like the exact opposite of a business transaction,” said Chau.  

Yancy sighed and looked back at the object again.  “Well, does it work?”

Chau quirked an eyebrow at him.  “Again, that depends.  What exactly are you hoping to achieve with it?  If it’s fame or riches you want, you’re better off wishing for all that from a genie trapped in a lamp.”

The blonde pilot gave Chau a curious look.  “You’re telling me stuff like that exists too?”

The overlord frowned.  “No, I’m pulling your leg.  Of course genies and lamps don’t exist.  This is the black market, not the world of hocus pocus.”

“And yet you’re a firm believer in the supposed powers of this stone,” Yancy said with mild sarcasm, jabbing a finger in the direction of the charm.  

“Hey, that one’s got magical powers that have been proven,” said Chau.  

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No,” Chau said, his expression somber.  “I’m being quite serious.  The last man who sought its powers became an individual of great influence in their desired industry.”

“ _Really_ …” Yancy said dryly.  “And where is this man now?  Why haven’t I heard of him?”

Chau chuckled.  “Well you have.  In fact, you’re looking right at him.”

Yancy frowned, and Chau lifted the shades he was wearing from his face, revealing his terribly marred skin.  Yancy’s eyes widened, but only slightly.  Chau placed the sunglasses back onto his face and gave Yancy a slight smirk.

“Every deal you make with this stone comes with its own price tag,” said Chau.  “Ranges vary.”

“Depending on?”

“What you ask of it,” said Chau.  “First of all, it has to be interested.”

“Interested?  What do you mean by that?” Yancy asked, his brows furrowing together.  “It’s not a living thing.”

“Or is it?” asked Chau.  “The blood of a god is nothing to be trifled with.  It has a life and will of its own; as tricky as its master.  Frivolous things, simplistic human desires it cares nothing for.  What it wants is complexity; something that can give it a bit of a challenge.  A wish that it considers it could be ‘fun’ to grant.”

Yancy shook his head.  “That’s ridiculous.”

The color of the stone behind him started to turn a deeper shade of red.  Hannibal Chau clucked his tongue and gave Yancy a look of mock-disapproval.

“Tsk, tsk, oh ye of little faith,” Chau said with derision.  “I don’t think the stone appreciates your lack of respect.”

“What?” Yancy asked with a frown, following Chau’s gaze back to the talisman.

His eyes widened when he saw what appeared to be a pool of blood puddling around the mythical object.  Yancy turned back to Chau and looked at him questioningly.  The other man simply shrugged.

“Go on.  You have its attention,” said Chau.  “State your ambition.”

Yancy’s posture grew slightly rigid.  He flicked out his tongue and let it run across his lower lip before speaking.

“The life of my brother,” Yancy said, with clear resolve in his voice.  “I sought out the stone in hopes that it could bring him back.”

The stone behind him began to glow.  Chau raised an eyebrow.

“Ooh, it liked that one, I can tell,” the black marketeer said.  “But are you sure?  Those things don’t come cheap, you know, and you’ve already insulted its honor.  It’s not likely to show you any mercy.”

Yancy half-smiled.  “I didn’t come here expecting any.”

“Hm...very well, then,” Chau said, taking a couple steps back away from the pilot.  “It’s starting.”

Yancy frowned in confusion.  “Huh…?  What is…?”

He turned back around when Chau pointed in the direction of the stone and he looked on in bewilderment as he watched what appeared to be dark red blood oozing from the stone.  The thick liquid flowed off the stand and onto the ground, slowly forming into the shape of a serpent which slithered to a stop just a few feet away from Yancy’s feet.  The blonde watched with morbid fascination as the oddity before him rose up and slowly formed into the bloody shape of a man.  

The voice of the creature was raspy and sounded far from human.  “You wish to bring back the dead, human…?”

Yancy, to his credit, managed to seem unfazed and stood his ground.  The only thing that gave away his nervousness was the slight twitch of one of his hands.

“Yes,” said Yancy.  “The life of my brother.  That’s what I came here for.”

“Hm...how _interesting_ …” the creature hissed at him.  “And how exactly did he meet his end?”

The blonde pilot’s jaw clenched.  “Death by Kaiju.  While piloting a Jaeger...with me.”

The bloody ghoul seemed to be smiling with glee.  “Well, well now…!  Is _that so_ …?  So it is your guilt that drives you.  Only humans are capable of something so selfish.”

Yancy frowned.  “He deserved to live a full life.”

“His spirit is already in the afterlife!” the demon roared.  “You wish to yank him out of paradise?”

“That is…” Yancy faltered.  “I…”

“Silly human…” the creature said, seemingly with a smirk.  “You lot never seem to think these things through.  No matter.  All the more entertaining for me.  That is...if you would still like to go through making an arrangement?”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “You’re giving me a choice?”

The disfigured mess of blood threw back what Yancy supposed was its head and belted out a rumble of laughter.  When it regained its composure, it sneered at the blonde.

“Of course not, cretin, what do you take me for?” the creature asked.  “I was merely extending you a human courtesy—you pathetic souls seem to like the _idea_ of free will.  You’re a fool to think, however, that I will simply slink back into my stone, just because you’ve changed your inconsistent, human little mind.”

“Well it never hurts to ask, does it?” Yancy said, half-smiling at his own bad joke.

The demon snarled, unamused.  “I’ve had enough of your insolence!  The price is high for the retrieval of a spirit, human!”

“Name it,” Yancy said evenly.

“A life for a life,” sneered the demonic creature.  “I shall accept nothing less.”

Yancy wet his lower lip.  “All right…?”

He looked over at Chau, who shook his head.  “Don’t look at me for help; I ain’t interested in risking my neck for someone I don’t even know.”

Yancy chuckled, despite himself.  “No, that wasn’t what I was going to ask at all…”

“Well, then what?” asked Chau.

“Don’t I owe you too or something?” asked Yancy.  “It doesn’t seem likely that I’ll be coming back from this one.”

“Oh.  Hah.  Forget about it.  This one’s on the house,” Chau said with a wave of the hand.  “I’ve no interest in being indebted to a god.”

“A wise choice, human,” the demonic presence agreed.

“Well...then thanks, I guess,” said Yancy.

Chau was indifferent.  “Be careful what you wish for, boy.  Although, I suppose it’s too late for you now to be receiving such advice.”

“Indeed…” Yancy said with a thin smile before returning his attention to the demonic creature.  “All right then.  I’ll take your deal, but on one condition.”

If the creature had eyes, it might have narrowed them.  “Such audacity!  What arrogance…!  Perhaps I like you a little bit, after all...however, my terms are set.”

“I never expected you to change them,” Yancy responded truthfully.  “...so you’ll consider my request?”

“I make no such promises,” the creature angrily hissed.  “But I am intrigued.  Let’s hear it; your precious little idea.”

“If you’re going to take my life, that’s fine,” said Yancy.  “In exchange, though...I would like a little more time with him.  My brother.  Raleigh…”

The blonde pilot didn’t notice the slight tilt of the spirits head as he closed his eyes.  His voice uttered his brother’s name with a pained whisper.

“ _Rals_ …”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence.  When Yancy opened his eyes, he found that the creature was no longer facing him.  Instead, it was looking in Chau’s direction, and the overlord of the underworld was clearly nervous.  

The creature spoke again in a quieter voice, which surprised both men.  “Leave us, human.”

If it weren’t for the seriousness of the situation, Yancy might have laughed at the way Chau quickly bowed at the creature and stuttered his respects before turning to leave the room in a hurry, practically tripping all over himself.  His abrupt exit left Yancy very much alone with the bloody creature before him.  

“Alright, so it’s just us two now,” Yancy said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.  “...I suppose you’ve got something personal you want to say?”

“Yes...something I’m normally not privy to sharing,” the ghoul admitted, and Yancy suddenly found himself wondering if perhaps this creature wasn’t as evil as he seemed on the surface.

The blonde half-smiled.  “But you figure...I’m going to be dead anyway, so what does it matter?”

“ _Precisely_ ,” said the demon, and Yancy was almost sure he could see a small hint of a smile on the creature’s face.

“Okay,” Yancy said, shrugging once more.  “So lay it on me then.  What’s your big secret?  The one I’m going to be taking to my grave…?”

The creature’s response was not one the Jaeger pilot was expecting.  “You love your brother...don’t you?”

Yancy blinked.  He wasn’t sure if it was the creature’s question or the tone of voice used to ask it that threw him.  His eyebrows furrowed together.

“What…?  I, uh…” Yancy started, unable to find the words he was looking for.  “Well, of course I do...I mean, he’s my brother.”

He was further surprised when the creature let out a long sigh, and Yancy could almost swear it was rolling its eyes, despite having nothing more than empty sockets.  

“Yes, yes...we all love our brothers,” the creature muttered in mild annoyance.  “But your love for him runs deeper than familial ties, I can tell.”

Yancy shook his head.  “I…”

“Oh, don’t deny it,” the creature snapped.  “Please.  I am the god of lies and trickery.  I can see right through them all.”

“Ah…well…” Yancy said, his expression sheepish.  “Then _yeah_...I guess I...well, I mean I…”

“Say no more,” said the demon.  “I understand...or rather, that type of love is something I happen to understand very well.”

In that moment, Yancy suddenly found himself remembering every single bedtime story he had ever read his little brother when they were children.  Among Raleigh’s favorites was the story of the Norse gods, Loki and Thor.  Yancy’s eyes widened, and his surprise gradually gave way to a slight frown.

“You...loved your brother?” Yancy asked slowly.  “...Thor?”

The creature responded by making a noise that the blonde wasn’t quite sure whether or not it could be categorized as a sigh.  

“Not _loved_ ,” the creature said finally.  “That would be past tense, and therefore incorrect.”

Yancy raised an eyebrow.  “Alright...so...”

“I love him still,” the creature sighed.  “Very much so.”

“Where is he now?” asked Yancy.  “Is Thor still alive?”

“The thunder god does still live, yes,” the creature said, somewhat mournfully.  “And I, myself, at present, am confined to his prison.”

“For what crime?” Yancy asked, unable to contain his curiosity over such a topic that was otherwise completely irrelevant to him.

“The list never ends,” the demon bitterly spat.  “In my youth, I was only trying to gain my older brother’s undivided attention.  I succeeded, but I was a fool to think I would obtain the results I so deeply desired.”

“What happened?” asked Yancy.

“My naiveté.  For thinking Thor would remain the innocent, unassuming man he used to be,” lamented the creature.  “And I suppose my pride...as that is the reason for my inability to admit my true feelings...”

Yancy took a moment to contemplate his next words.  “You know...could I offer a bit of insight?  As an older brother.”

“Oh, how lovely,” the creature said, its tone dripping with sarcasm.  “A human wishes to provide me with some life advice.”

“Hey, but at least it’s free, right?” Yancy asked with a shrug.  “Take it with a grain of salt, if you want.”

“Hmph, very well…” said the creature.  “Go on.”

“No matter how much my little brother and I fought...at the end of the day, I never stopped loving him,” said Yancy.  “Now, I don’t know him, obviously, but I’d imagine it’s probably the same for your brother, Thor.   There are some things that are just built into us, as older siblings.”

The liquid-based creature said nothing at first, and then it rumbled with soft laughter.  When it spoke again, Yancy thought the tone of its voice sounded almost sympathetic.

“Foolish mortal...how little you know.”

Yancy frowned slightly.  The creature sighed.  

“Enough chatter,” it said.  “I tire of this conversation.  Let us start the contract.”

“All right…” Yancy said, shifting the weight on his feet.  “How does this work?”

The creature lifted one of its bloody limbs.  “Your hand, human…”

Yancy took in a short breath and held out one of his arms.  His eyes widened when it became engulfed by the liquidy creature, but he was even more surprised at the lack of pain.  The creature provided him with nothing more than a vague warning.

“You mustn’t let on that you know.”

Yancy shook his head.  “What…?”

He could get out no more than that, however, because suddenly the creature engulfed his entire being and he slipped into a state of unconsciousness.  The darkness lasted only for a few moments.  

When Yancy next opened his eyes, he found himself to be in a naturally well-lit room.  Curiously, Yancy took a look around.  The surroundings seemed familiar to him, but he couldn’t place a finger exactly on as to why.  Then he thought to look down at his hands, and it all made sense.

He turned his head in the direction of the open doorway when he heard the sound of a front door opening and closing.  A few minutes later, the familiar sound of his mother’s voice floated down the hallway.  The situation was very real, but Yancy found it interesting that he felt like there was a dreamlike haze over the moment, at the same time.

“ _Yancy!  Where are you honey?  Come here!  Come meet your baby brother…!”_

The only thought on Yancy’s mind in that moment was _Raleigh_ , and he ran in the direction where he knew he’d find his mother, thinking of nothing else.  His heart fluttered upon seeing the bundle tucked between his mother’s arms, and he reached out his short, stubby little arms, begging his mother for the child.  Laughing, his mother carefully handed over the baby.

“Careful now, Yancy,” she whispered.  “He’s sleeping.”

Raleigh was.  Tears stung Yancy’s eyes as he looked upon his younger brother’s perfect face.  This wasn’t what happened the first time.  The first time, Yancy had run up to his mother, excited and asked a billion questions which resulted in waking his brother and making him cry.  This time, Yancy was the one overwhelmed with emotion.  His mother frowned.

“What is it, Yancy…?” she asked gently as she ruffled her older son’s hair.  “What’s the matter?”

All Yancy could manage to do was to shake his head.  He held his precious baby brother close.

“Nothing…” Yancy whispered finally in his tiny voice.  “Nothing, Mommy…”

He pressed a kiss to Raleigh’s forehead and internally thanked the creature of the talisman for giving him more than he ever expected when granting his wish.  He made plans not to waste a single minute of this rare and precious gift.


	2. Reliving the Past

The years flew by, and they flew by fast.  Before Yancy knew it, Raleigh had grown up from being a bouncy toddler to a spirited young man.  On this second run through their life, Yancy had taken thousands more pictures of his brother than he had the first time around, even knowing that it wasn’t going to matter in the end.  He made sure to take more of himself and together with Raleigh too, for his brother’s sake.  

The first time they kissed, it was just a few weeks before they decided to join the PPDC, and it was an awkward thing.  At first, Yancy wasn’t sure if his admitting his true feelings towards his brother this time around was in violation of the demonic creature’s warning, to not let on what Yancy knew of the future.  However, when their lips met and the world didn’t come crashing down around them, Yancy figured that this much was all right; he just had to make sure not to reveal the rest of what he knew, which was just fine.

When they finally did make it to the PPDC, Yancy made sure to beat his little brother to the punch in claiming the side of their Jaeger which was labeled “01.”  The first time they did this, Yancy had allowed his younger brother to take that slot, because Raleigh had insisted and Yancy hadn’t been able to say no.  This time though, it was much easier to force Raleigh into the second slot.  

Yancy did his best to keep what he knew about their future out of the Drift whenever they were connected, but deep down inside, Yancy was secretly marking off the days until the inevitable.  Not that Yancy really needed the reminder of how quickly time was slipping away from them, but he wanted to make sure he made every moment count.

Raleigh laughed at him when Yancy suggested they take a few days off to go sight seeing.  Marshal Pentecost raised an eyebrow at Yancy when he asked for permission.

“You’ve been asking for time off constantly, ever since you and your brother joined up for this mission,” Pentecost said, giving Yancy a look of exasperation.  “Quite frankly, the only reason I’ve been granting your requests is because you always ask when there is a gap between Kaiju appearances.”

“I realize that and I’m sorry, Marshal,” Yancy said as he unconsciously clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides.  “This will be the last time I ask you for your understanding, sir.”

“Forgive me finding that rather hard to believe, Ranger,” Pentecost said sternly.

Yancy shook his head.  “No, sir...this time, I can promise.”

A small frown formed on the marshal’s face then as he quietly regarded Yancy.  After a few moments, he tilted his head slightly to one side.

“Something you know that I don’t, Becket?” Pentecost asked.

Yancy shook his head again.  “No, not at all, sir…”

“Then how come you sound so sure?” the marshal asked, his frown becoming more pronounced.

Yancy could offer the man nothing more than a small smile.  “I just know, sir…”

“Hm...very well,” the marshal said, and Yancy was relieved the man didn’t press for anything further.  “You may have five days.”

Yancy gave his superior a curt nod.  “Thank you very much, sir!”

“Yes, yes...you’re dismissed,” Pentecost said, waving Yancy away with a hand.

Hours later, Yancy and Raleigh were on a plane headed towards Amsterdam.  It would be their last trip out of the Shatterdome together.  Yancy smiled as he looked down at his brother, who was resting his head against the older man’s shoulder, a look of contentment on his face.  Yancy pressed a kiss on top of the younger man’s head, smiling as his brother’s blonde hair tickled his nose.  

Well before they landed, Yancy already had their whole itinerary planned; he would take Raleigh places that the younger man had desperately wanted to go the first time, instead of making him endure the places Yancy had dragged him to see half the time.  Perhaps it was less noble and more selfish, but Yancy had already seen those places and had no burning desire to see them again, not while knowing all that was at stake.  He rather preferred to see his brother’s smiling face; the cheerful glow from the other man’s expression as he didn’t have to think about compromising, and Yancy was more than happy to let Raleigh have his way.

Yancy looked forward to the evenings of their trip more than ever, because this time around, he and Raleigh had a relationship where they were more than just brothers.  This time, he could touch his brother in ways that he couldn’t before and make love.

For a fleeting moment, Yancy wondered if perhaps he should have split the trip in half and had them spend their last day back at their house in Anchorage, but he quickly tucked that thought to the far reaches of his mind because at that point, it really was too late for such regrets.  So instead, Yancy placed all his focus on making sure that Raleigh was always laughing and keeping that bright smile on his precious younger brother’s face.  Yancy was determined to enjoy what little time he had left with Raleigh, just as they were now.

Raleigh happily welcomed his older brother as he climbed into their king-sized bed.  It was their last night at the hotel, and only one of them was feeling a sense of urgency.

“Mm... _Yance_ …!  Hey, wait a minute!” Raleigh said, laughing as Yancy trailed a flurry of kisses down the side of his neck after having practically ripped off all the clothes from their bodies.  “Slow down a little…!”

He resisted the urge to laugh even harder when his older brother pulled back with a frustrated sigh.  Raleigh brushed a few strands of stray hair out of his older brother’s face before cupping a hand around his brother’s cheek and running a thumb across it.

“Hey…” Raleigh said with the slightest of frowns.  “Come on, Yance…!  Take it easy...what’s the rush, anyhow?”

Yancy let out a sigh and pulled slightly back from Raleigh so that he could run several fingers through his recently washed hair.  He gave his little brother a small smile and shook his head.

“Nah, it’s nothing, Rals,” Yancy said, leaning forward and hovering his lips over his brother’s.  “Sorry...I’m just too excited, I guess.  We can take things slow…”

Raleigh’s frown deepened at that, and the younger man shook his head.  “No...Yance…don’t give me that.  Something’s wrong with you...even if we aren’t Drifting right now, I can tell, so don’t lie to me.  What is it?  What’s going on…?”

Yancy opened his mouth then, and for a split second he almost told Raleigh the whole truth behind everything.  Just before he did though, he remembered the warning he received from the spirit residing in the talisman.  

“ _You mustn’t let on that you know.”_

And Yancy realized that this was what the creature had probably been referring to, a moment like this one, and so Yancy ended up not telling his brother any of it.  Instead, he smoothly changed the subject to something that wouldn’t raise his brother’s suspicions and told him that he was just feeling a little on edge, because it was their last day away from the Shatterdome and Yancy just wasn’t ready for them to go back yet.  That much was still quite true, at the very least, and his brother believed it completely as his sole reason for acting the way he was, and Yancy was immensely relieved.  He didn’t know what would have happened if he had just told Raleigh the truth—the shade of Loki hadn’t exactly briefed him on the consequences that would follow such an action—but Yancy had no interest in testing things out and finding out for himself firsthand.  The risks were too great and the stakes were high.

So instead he opted for closing his eyes, to help him force back the tears, kissed his brother gently on the lips and savored the taste.  His brother moaned appreciatively beneath him and as much as Yancy wanted to fuck his brother hard and fast, he bit back the urge and progressed things evenly, at a nice, steady pace.

When it was all over they lay there, peacefully in their bed, tangled in each other’s limbs and the sheets.  Raleigh’s head was resting comfortably on his older brother’s chest, and Yancy raked his fingers lovingly through his younger brother’s hair.

“You know...sometimes I wish we could just stop time,” Raleigh whispered with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.  “Like, stop the hands of the clock, but not freeze the moment, you know?  Just live in that suspended hour forever.”

Yancy rested his cheek atop his younger brother’s head, almost not trusting himself to respond.  He bit the inside of his cheek and hoped the words didn’t come out sounding choked.

“Yeah, kid...I know exactly what you mean.”

Raleigh lifted his head to look up at him then, and it took everything Yancy had within him to keep his face neutral and his emotions in check.  He fixated on the thought that his brother’s smile was so beautiful.  

The younger man entwined their fingers together.  “I love you, Yance…”

They shared a brief kiss, and Yancy forced himself to smile.  “Love you too, kiddo…”

The day went by quickly—too quickly, Yancy thought to himself, but there was nothing that could be done about it and the next thing he knew, he and his brother were on the next flight taking them back to the Shatterdome.  All the while, Yancy found that he couldn’t keep his hands off of Raleigh; the younger man was just _so solid_ , and Yancy alternated between touching his brother and subtly pinching himself, to make sure that the moment was real and that his brother really was right there with him.  

He didn’t have to consult a calendar to know that the Knifehead battle was drawing near.  When they’d land back in Anchorage, it would be the twenty-seventh of February, just two days before the face-off with the Category Three Kaiju.  

This time, Yancy would insist that the two of them sleep together until the morning of the fight.  This time, Yancy wouldn’t feel all too surprised upon Raleigh waking him up, letting him know about the Kaiju alert at two in the morning.  

Because this time, Yancy wasn’t planning on sleeping the night of the twenty-eighth of February.  He was going to spend his last few sure moments on this earth watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his beloved baby brother’s chest as he peacefully slept, blissfully unaware of what fate would be awaiting them that dreaded morning.


	3. The Day of Reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be updating the series description in a minute...the second half of this story is on its way. Stay tuned! If all goes well, it should be done by tomorrow and then I can mark this series as completed! Yay, exciting~! :D In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy!! (Also...wrote this one in active voice instead of passive because I thought it made more sense for this chapter.)

There is a moment where Yancy considers going back on his word, but he knows doing so would probably not be a wise decision.  So he lets the morning unfold pretty much the way it had for him and his brother the first time they went through this situation, albeit a few minor changes.  

When the alarm goes off, Yancy pretends to wake up together with Raleigh, which seems totally plausible, because this time the two of them are waking up from the same cramped bed.  Mostly for safety reasons, the two of them had spent the night on the lower bunk, which was considered to be Raleigh’s bed.  

Yancy smiles when Raleigh stretches himself out and complains about some stiff muscles in his neck, and he takes several moments longer to admire his brother’s toned physique before stepping into the shower.  He’s just barely closed the door after telling his brother the same warning as he had that first time, to not get cocky, when Yancy changes his mind, turns around and opens the door.  He surprises his brother when he does and the younger man gives him a rather cheeky smile when Yancy motions towards himself with one of his pointer fingers, beckoning his brother to “come hither.”  He smiles when Raleigh lets out a whoop and joins him in the shower; the two of them laugh and waste several minutes wrestling around.  They make out with each other passionately and Raleigh’s slick, wet body is pinned between his older brother and the cool tiles of the bathroom wall.  

At the last possible minute, Yancy decides he wants to fuck his brother and does so; this time they have no choice but to make things quick and clean up after themselves fast, because the world is seriously depending on them and innocent lives are on the line.  In minutes, they’ve thrown on their clothes and are running down the hall laughing, hand-in-hand.  

For a moment, Yancy completely forgets just what is waiting for them around the corner.  Then, he enters the Drivesuit room with his brother, and the smile wipes cleanly off his face the minute he starts walking towards the side marked “01.”  Raleigh’s old side—the side Yancy decided he was going to take over this time, on their second run through the motions.  

Just before he allows the technicians to connect himself and his brother to the Jaeger’s machinery, Yancy pulls his younger brother in for a good, long kiss.  When they pull away, he smiles a little at the sight of his brother, whom he has left slightly breathless.  The younger man tilts his head to the side and regards him curiously.

“Everything all right, Yance?” his younger brother asks.

“Yeah, kiddo,” Yancy says, nodding back in response.  “Just a little nervous, I guess.”

Raleigh smiles at  him sweetly, and it breaks Yancy’s heart, because the younger man is just so painfully unaware of what is about to happen to them.  “Aw, it’ll be fine, Yance.  It’s not like we haven’t done something like this before.  This ain’t our first rodeo, you know.”

Yancy doesn’t bother to shed light on the twisted irony of that statement.  They take their places in their respective positions.  Minutes later they’ve been dropped into the ocean, and Yancy uses all his mental strength to focus on memories from this revised lifetime and steers clear of anything else that could alert Raleigh just how wrong things were about to go for them as they connected with each other via the Drift.

It’s with a sliver of hope that Yancy doesn’t imply wishing to go after the civilian boat.  Yet, there are no feelings of surprise that rise within him when Raleigh still suggests that they make the grand rescue; only sadness of knowing what was going to come next.

The ferocious Kaiju, Knifehead, rises up from the ocean and tears off Gipsy Danger’s left arm.  Yancy feels it too and inside he’s screaming while his brother does the same out loud.  For a moment, his control falters and before he can put the walls back up, he knows it’s too late to take back the few thoughts he’s accidentally let slip through the Drift.  He winces inwardly when he feels his brother latch on the information, feel confused, and starts trying to make sense of it.

Before he can, however, Knifehead rips through the hole, and in that moment, both brothers are mesmerized by the sight of the terrifying creature.  Yancy berates himself upon realizing in yet another moment of his own weakness, he has allowed Raleigh to pick up on several more things that he really shouldn’t have.  The resulting effect is that Raleigh sees the event unfold before him in two different perspectives—one as it is happening before him now, and the other as it happened before, from his older brother’s point of view.  Yancy panics.

“ _No,”_ he thinks.  “ _No, Raleigh…!  No!”_

His younger brother stares at him in a daze.  Yancy fervently shakes his head.

“Raleigh, listen to me…!” he says aloud, staring at his brother and projecting all the thoughts he doesn’t have the time to say out loud and barrels them towards his brother in the Drift.  “Listen to me—”

Raleigh feels as if his face is flickering through a thousand different emotions.   He’s so disoriented and trying to understand what’s going on, and yet he can feel his brother fighting against him, attempting to make him abandon his search for answers to his questions within the Drift.

“ _You need to_ _ **ignore everything**_ _that you see in the Drift.  Don’t try to make sense of it.  Live your life to the fullest, and bear no regrets.  Remember that I love you.  I love you so much, Rals.  I’ll always love you.  I—”_

Then Raleigh watches as the Kaiju flings Yancy out into the ocean, and it all seems too surreal.  For a moment he feels his body go numb and it feels like the world is passing him by in slow motion; he feels like he’s wading through the thick atmosphere of some horrific nightmare.  He screams out with gut-wrenching anguish upon feeling his brother’s pain; screams until his voice goes hoarse when he feels his brother die because it feels like his heart has been ripped out mercilessly through his own chest and something deep down inside tells him that this is just wrong, all of it.  

Then suddenly, the chaos in his mind abruptly stops and there is nothing but silence.  The emptiness he feels is overwhelming.  

Somewhere, he finds it in him to pilot Gipsy Danger on his own and eliminate the Kaiju threat.  He barely registers moving the Jaeger towards shore afterwards.  He doesn’t remember ever making it there.  All he remembers is eventually stumbling out onto a wide stretch of snow, barely noticing the old man he passes by, who asks him whether or not he’s all right.  

He whispers his brother's name, over and over before falling on his back, onto the snow.  Though his vision is blurring from his tears, he can see still see clearly the lingering images from the Drift.  Memories that belonged to his brother, but were somehow from another time—where Raleigh had been the one piloting Gipsy Danger’s right side.  On another day much like this one, if not the very same day done differently before, _he_ had been the one Knifehead had thrown out of the Conn-Pod.   _He_ was the one that should have died.  It made perfect sense and then didn’t, all at the same time.

The last thing Raleigh remembers from the Drift is a dark room, a bloody creature, and his brother making a deal to turn back the hands of time.  Yancy had advised him not to try and make sense of it all, but Raleigh finds that he doesn’t have it in him to comply.

He succumbs to the darkness when he feels it try to overtake him though, because he knows better than to fight against the fatigue.  He hopes—right before losing consciousness—that when he wakes, this will all be nothing more than just a really bad dream.  He hopes that Yancy will be there beside him with a smile on his face, ready to pepper his face with kisses; whispering in his ear over and over again, letting him know just how beautiful he thinks Raleigh is and how much he loves and adores him.

Raleigh tries his hardest not to think about the alternative.  Part of him wishes that the shock of losing his brother and co-pilot will be too much for his system, so that he can wake up in the next world.  

So he can rush right back into his brother’s arms and hit him, yell at him, and cry.  So he can let Yancy know just how pissed off he would have been if the man had somehow succeeded in his attempt to leave Raleigh behind; alone and alive.

Even as he slowly succumbs to the darkness though, Raleigh knows somehow, deep in his gut that he _is_ going to wake up again, to this reality and not the one he wishes for.  That somehow, this is what his brother wanted, and that even though Yancy’s intentions were not meant to harm him, Raleigh knows that when he next opens his eyes, nothing will be the same for him again and everything was never going to be all right.  

He can barely hear the words the old man hovering above him is saying, but Raleigh assumes that he’s just trying to keep the surviving Jaeger pilot conscious at this point.  When Raleigh finally does close his eyes, a single tear escapes, making a slow trail down the side of his ashen face.


End file.
